I hate running.
Running reminds me of being in junior high and high school. Of playing basketball and volleyball and being on the track team, and always being the slowest. It's embarassment, it's letting a team down, it's sitting on the bench because I just wasn't strong or fast enough.
Running makes me feel bad about myself, about my body and the things I'm capable of.
So why the heck am I starting a running program that aims to get me from not ever running to running 5 km non-stop?
Because I want to feel good about myself. I want to know that my body is capable of so much more than I give it credit for. Because I want that poor chubby teenage girl I carry around inside me to finally feel good about herself.
And because running is something you can do anywhere. It's cheap. It can be done outside, inside, on vacation.
So yesterday, I downloaded and printed off this program, which I've had bookmarked for years. I laced up my runners, powered up my iPod shuffle and headed to the fitness room in our building. I was psyched. I was psyched to start a new program, to cross things off a training schedule and just to get going.
But when I got downstairs, there was someone on the treadmill. I thought, okay, I'll just warm up on the bike and I'm sure he'll be done in 10 minutes anyway.
40 minutes and one moderately-intense cross-circuit on the bike later, dude was still walking on the treadmill, I was sweaty, and Day One was a bust.
Today. Today I will start. Today will be the day.