So I didn't come back and post photos of my shopping spree goods. Because I didn't spend the whole giftcard. I have $104 left in my spree account that I will be spending tonight after work on some carefully pre-selected items. And I swear, I'll show them off!
Yesterday I felt really good about myself and my priorities and my plan and my progress. Then I got to work this morning, was sucked into a spiral and had to miss the spin class I was very much looking forward to. I am frustrated and stressed out and I totally lack the ability to self-soothe without food.
I was definitely a kid who was soothed and rewarded with food. But don't get me wrong: the fact that I am overweight is no one's fault but my own. My parents comforting me after a bad day with a cookie was their way of showing me love, and I am well aware that food doesn't equal love. I get that. I'm working on not turning to food for comfort - or for something to do when I'm bored, but that's another post. Most of the time I can actually act on my feelings now - be it getting angry and talking it out or leaving a situation to cool my head, or realizing that I'm stressed and I need a break from the monitor to walk around the building, not a cookie.
But today I am ragged. I'm tired, I'm stressed, and I'm frustrated. All I can think of is going to buy some chips to crunch on. Sure, baby carrots are a crunchy substitute, but they won't soothe me.
Neither will chips - at least for any longer than 10 minutes. I know this. But today might be one of those days where I cave in.
Fortunately I have a whole schwack of points at my disposal.