I had a real pity party this weekend.
I have always compared myself to other people. I spent years and years, mostly my teenaged ones, feeling like 'it's not fair' that other people were thinner, or smarter, or had more luck than I did. Frankly, I know this is crap. We all make our own paths with what we're given, no more, no less. There is absolutely NO point in comparing ourselves to other people. It's a giant lose-lose situation.
But knowing that doesn't mean I don't do it sometimes.
I had a teary little fit on Saturday afternoon. Gary was sick, so we spent most of the weekend laying low. We did go for brunch and then browsed around the mall that's a whopping 4 blocks from our apartment, but other than that, we didn't get up to much.
My little 'poor me' party was sparked by a number of things. One, feeling like my weight loss is coming along SO SLOWLY. This weekend a friend of mine told me that she'd lost almost 50 lbs - which is FREAKING AMAZING! (Way to go, CARMEN!) But obviously I compared myself to her. I must not be trying hard enough, I must not be doing the right things, etc, etc, my body hates me and it isn't fair.
Then I tried on some clothes at the mall. This was a mistake. Nothing fit. NOTHING. I felt like a giant, awkward brontosauras.
Then I came home and moped around about the fact that one of my cousins hates me and will probably never speak to me again and that so-and-so makes more money than I ever will and why are all of my relatives so much more attractive than me and...and...and... and POOR OLD ME.
I cried. I told Gary exactly what I was feeling. And I swear to god, his response was perfect. It was just the right amount of indulgence and shame. And I snapped out of it.
So here's some self-talk for today: I'm sure we all feel that way sometimes, but honest to god, Megan, what an immature response. So what if you don't make as much money or the pants at the Gap didn't fit or someone is thinner than you or has shinier hair. Maybe those people WORK HARDER than you do. It's not the universe trying to screw you over. Think about that for awhile. Now go to spin class.