This afternoon I have an appointment with a personal trainer at my gym to do the free 'fitness consultation' that came with my gym membership. Following the consultation, I'll also have two more actual workout sessions with the trainer.
To say that I am apprehensive is putting it mildly.
I've never worked out with a trainer. I'm terrified. What if this person embarrasses me? What if she makes fun of me? What if I can't do what she wants me to do? What if she laughs at me? What if everyone in the gym laughs? What if I burst into tears? What if they patronize me, or talk to me as if I'm stupid, which might even be the worst of all. Look, I know I'm fluffy, okay? I look at myself every single day. Abs? I do not have them. Rolls? Yes, yes I do.
I had put off this consultation for months successfully. Then I got totally busted by a trainer on my way out of the gym on Tuesday night. He asked if I was training with anyone. I said no, but come on. I could smell the upsale from a mile away - I do work in Marketing. Then he asked if I had enjoyed my complimentary sessions, and I couldn't lie to him.
So he signed me up promptly for an appointment with Stephanie, who I am sure is lovely.
And probably evil.
So if you never hear from me again, it's because Stephanie the Trainer, with her routine of squats and jump-thrust-burpie-mountainclimbers killed me.
It was nice knowing you guys.