I was up .2 lbs this morning. There were some tears of frustration in the shower this morning, I'm going to be honest. There's a lot going on in my life right now - work is crazy, we're trying to purchase our first home, we're getting into wedding planning and I'm still trying to lose weight.
And to add insult to injury, there was no hot water for my shower this morning.
So I stood there, wrapped in a towel, dripping wet and freezing cold, and cried a little.
It just sucks. It sucks. I tracked all week. I said no to so many things to counter my 'splurge' Saturday - which didn't even put me over my points for the week! I worked out like a bandit. I tried new things. I focused on filling foods, fresh veggies and fruit, and higher-protein choices. There's a freaking cake on my kitchen counter that I haven't TOUCHED since Sunday morning! The amount of willpower exhibited alone should have burned enough calories to result in a 15 or 20 pound loss.
So now what, Universe? Should I start skipping meals? Cut out entire food groups? Shake diets? No carbs? Increase my gym attendance from 4 or 5 days a week to 9? What? What do I need to do to lose this damn weight?!
Here are some visuals:
My tracker for the week.
And this is my weight loss progress from the very beginning.
I can't figure out why it stopped. I can't figure out why I'm not losing anymore. I feel like I'm hitting my head against a wall all day long but I can't stop. And inside my head, this runs on a loop:
What's the point? I'm never going to be able to do this. I'm going to be a fat bride. I'm going to die early of a heart attack. I'll never meet my grandchildren. I'm never going to be happy with my weight or my size or my body.
Grrrrrr. Thanks for listening.